When Children Choose Wealth Over Duty the Loneliness That Awaits
The state of Kerala
offers a stark picture. Known as a land of migration, with lakhs of its youth
settled in the Gulf, Europe, or America, Kerala’s villages and towns are filled
with aging parents left behind. Homes that once rang with laughter now echo with
silence. Old men and women sit on verandas, waiting endlessly for a knock on
the door, a call, or even a message that may never come. Festivals like Onam,
once symbols of family reunion, now become painful reminders of isolation. And
while a lucky few may receive remittances from abroad, what they truly crave is
presence, not money.
When Children Choose Wealth Over Duty
Let us not sugarcoat
this reality. Children today — many of them highly educated, ambitious, and
successful — are failing their parents. They defend themselves by saying: “We
have careers, we have our own families, life is busy abroad.” But beneath those
excuses lies a brutal truth: selfishness. Parents gave their best years to
raise their children, often denying themselves comforts so that their sons and
daughters could study in good schools, earn foreign degrees, and secure
prestigious jobs. Fathers toiled in government offices or worked as daily wage
laborers; mothers broke their backs in kitchens, saved every rupee, and prayed
at every temple or church for their children’s future. And what do these
parents receive in return? Silence. Distance. Indifference.
In Kerala, the
so-called “Gulf dream” is part of every second household. Young men and women
leave with promises: “Amma, Achcha, once I am settled, I will bring you there.
Life will be better for us all.” Years pass, decades roll by, and parents grow
old waiting. The children return only for hurried vacations, more like tourists
than family members. Their time is spent shopping, sightseeing, or catching up
with friends, while their parents stand on the margins. Sometimes, even those
visits stop. Airfares, they claim, are expensive. Work, they say, is demanding.
But the truth is harsher: the parents no longer matter. They have served their
purpose.
Even worse, many
children push their parents into old age homes — places euphemistically called
“care centers.” The parents are dumped there like unwanted furniture, told to
adjust, told to accept this new phase of life. Strangers care for them, but
love is absent. Some children may argue, “At least we are paying for their
care.” But is care a financial transaction? Can the warmth of a son’s embrace
or a daughter’s conversation be replaced by a caretaker’s routine feeding and
bed-making?
The Loneliness That Awaits
The irony is
chilling. The very children who abandon their parents today will themselves
grow old tomorrow. And when they do, they will face the same indifference — if
not worse. For the cycle of neglect, once set in motion, will not stop. If
children grow up watching their parents treat grandparents as burdens, they too
will learn to view aging parents as liabilities. Retribution will come, not
because of divine punishment, but because of cold, human logic: what goes
around comes around.
Kerala already shows
us glimpses of this grim future. Entire neighborhoods are now populated by the
elderly. In villages, one sees old couples living alone in crumbling houses, or
widowed mothers surviving on meager pensions. They wait for phone calls that
never arrive. They stare at photographs of their children, framed and hung on
walls, as though the only presence left is an image. Some die in loneliness,
their deaths discovered days later by neighbors. Others breathe their last in
old age homes, surrounded by strangers, with no son or daughter holding their
hand. Is this the fate parents deserve after a lifetime of sacrifice?
The harshest truth is
that loneliness kills faster than disease. Studies show that elderly people
deprived of social and emotional support are more likely to suffer from
depression, cognitive decline, and early death. In Kerala, where life
expectancy is among the highest in India, this reality is even more pronounced.
Parents live long, but they live alone. Their lives stretch into decades of
waiting, hoping, and ultimately, despairing.
And yet, those who
abandon them rarely feel the sting immediately. Abroad, these sons and
daughters post smiling photos with their own children, celebrate milestones,
and flaunt their lifestyles. They believe they have won. But life has a cruel
way of circling back. When they too grow old, when their own children pursue
opportunities in distant lands, they will experience the same neglect. They
will remember the days their parents called and they didn’t pick up, the
invitations home they ignored, the excuses they gave. Memory will turn into a
mirror, and in that mirror they will see themselves — lonely, discarded,
forgotten.
The story of
neglected parents in Kerala is not just a story of one state; it is a story of
modern India, a nation that prides itself on family values but increasingly
betrays them. The old proverb said, “Maatru devo bhava, pitru devo bhava” —
revere your mother and father as gods. But in practice, parents today are
treated as burdens. Our temples are full, but our homes are empty of respect.
There is no shortage
of laws. India has the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens
Act, which makes it mandatory for children to care for their parents. But laws
cannot create love, nor can courts enforce compassion. What is needed is a moral
awakening — a realization that the true measure of success is not the size of
your salary or the city you migrate to, but how you treat the people who gave
you life.
Kerala’s villages,
with their silent houses and deserted courtyards, are warning signs. They warn
us of a future where every family will fracture, every parent will grow old
alone, and every child will, in turn, face the same abandonment. Unless this
cycle is broken, we are doomed to repeat it.
Retribution is not a
curse. It is a certainty. If you neglect your parents, be prepared: your own
children will one day neglect you.
What
Bible says about this trend?
The Bible speaks very directly and firmly about honouring
and caring for parents, and the trend of neglecting them in old age goes
against its teachings. Here are some of the most relevant passages and
principles:
The Fifth Commandment
– A Non-Negotiable Duty:
Exodus 20:12 – “Honor
your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord
your God is giving you.” Honouring parents is not optional — it is one of
the Ten Commandments. Neglecting them in their old age is seen as dishonour, a
grave sin.
Caring for Parents Is
Central to Faith:
1 Timothy 5:8 – “But if anyone does not provide for his
relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith
and is worse than an unbeliever.” This verse is harshly clear: a child who
abandons their parents is considered “worse than an unbeliever.” Scripture
doesn’t allow excuses of career, money, or migration.
3. Jesus Condemned Using Excuses to Avoid Supporting Parents:
Mark 7:9–13 – Jesus rebuked people who set aside their duty
to parents in the name of religious offerings (“Corban”). He called it
hypocrisy and said they nullified God’s command. Modern excuses like “I’m busy
abroad” or “I’ll send money” mirror the same hypocrisy.
4. Love in Action, Not Just Words:
1 John 3:18 – “Dear children, let us not love with words
or speech but with actions and in truth.” Parents don’t just need money;
they need presence, care, and respect. Neglect while claiming to “love” them is
empty talk.
5. A Warning of Retribution:
Proverbs 30:17 – “The
eye that mocks a father, that scorns an aged mother, will be pecked out by the
ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.” A grim image,
underscoring that disrespect and neglect of parents will invite judgment and
destruction.
6. The Blessing of Obedience and Care:
Ephesians 6:2–3 – “Honor your father and mother” — which
is the first commandment with a promise — “so that it may go well with you and
that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Scripture ties blessing,
prosperity, and long life to honouring parents. The opposite — neglect — brings
curse and misery.
In summary:
The Bible leaves no room for children to abandon their parents. Migration, busy
lives, or material success are not valid excuses. Neglect is considered dishonour,
hypocrisy, and sin. Those who fail in this duty not only break God’s command
but also risk facing the same neglect in their own old age.
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