“Nobody
understands me,” my Mumbai-based cousin often tells me.
This is not her
grouse alone. This is a common complaint that each one of us makes at one
juncture or the other. I’m also not spared. I think there would hardly be any
person who has not thought along these lines.
One thing is
clear: No relationship can completely satisfy you except in your association
with the Lord. If you have put your relationship right with the Lord, all other
relationships would flourish and grow effectively. That is, it enables us to
remain satisfied and can satisfy others as well.
So establishing constant and continual
fellowship with the Lord is important for an individual to lead a contented and
fulfilling life. This also gives you wisdom from God. “For in Christ
all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to
fullness. He is the head over every power and authority” (Col
One needs to
understand that you are blessed with a Heavenly Father who understands you
completely. “God, who knows the
heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as
he did to us” (Act 15:8 NIV). The very thought
of being understood by God is indeed refreshing to all of us. This assurance
can relieve us of all the humongous and boundless efforts to impress others and
gain their recognition and praise.
Even in the most intimate and
closest of relationships as marriage, the couple could remain clueless over
certain behaviour or reactions even after long years of being together. This is
true even for the couples who lead successful married life. This is not because
of lack of communication or any other problems between them, but it is the
reality that no person can understand another person fully. But the cravings
for people to be understood do exist and so we get frustrated if this craving
is not fulfilled in any of our relationships.
To avoid frustration and other serious problems
in our worldly relationships, one needs to establish a good relationship with
the Lord. We also get the freedom from the constant efforts to please or
satisfy us as well as other people around. God expect that from each one of us.
“Remain in me, as I also
remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the
vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you
are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much
fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15: 4 – 5 NIV). “But the Father will send the Friend in my name to help
you. The Friend is the Holy Spirit. He will teach you all things. He will
remind you of everything I have said to you.”
(Romans 8: 10 NIV).
Thoughts about our Heavenly Father
who understands and knows even our intentions are extremely relieving for a
genuine and sincere person. This assurance would help us to tide over
confrontations, accusations, criticisms and other negative life situations very
easily. That is, we would no longer be affected by the small and big setbacks
or upsets and other negative life situations that we confront on a daily basis.
Through continual fellowship with the Lord we would be trained to look up to
the Lord for the solution, rather than wasting time thinking about the issue
and thereby getting deeply entangled in the issue. “So do not fear, for I am
with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help
you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41: 10 NIV).
If Christ takes control of us, we can live peacefully and happily.
In any relationship, say
husband-wife; parent-child relationships; relationship between siblings,
neighbours, friends, etc one cannot follow a clear-cut rule or policy to make
it successful. There are lots of ups and downs in any relationship and it is
the mental stability of the individual which helps him to attain the needed
balance in any relationship. This state of mind (mental stability) can be
attained only through the help of the Holy Spirit, the Helper whom God has
given us. That is, only a spirit-filled person can take both negative and
positive happenings with a peaceful mind. Holy Spirit would always fill us with
the right thoughts, decisions and remind us what to speak, act and decide. “But
the Father will send the Friend in my name to help you. The Friend is the Holy
Spirit. He will teach you all things. He will remind you of everything I have
said to you” (John 14: 26 NIV).
If you sincerely urge for
the infilling of the Holy Spirit you can become an anointed person and get
freed from the worthless efforts to please people and the world. So take
conscious efforts to taste and experience the gifts of the Holy Spirit and get
better day by day...(The writer is a marine biologist based in Cochin)
