“I will build a big bungalow and shift there
with husband. I don’t want to see your face. I’m fed up of you,” Sabrina (name changed) shouted
at her mother-in-law Mary on a sultry afternoon. Mary was deeply hurt by her
daughter-in-law’s verbal assault. This household used to witness persistent
warfare between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law. They used to have
separate kitchen and cooking in the household.
Sabrina wasn’t lucky to move into her new
bungalow in the town -- Kochi, southern state of
Kerala, India. Six months later, Sabrina
died in the hospital as she was diagnosed with cancer -- that too the last
stage of the dreaded disease.
Isn’t there a message in this true life story?
Pope Francis recently said societies that
mistreat older people are infected with a ‘virus of death’ and put their own
futures in jeopardy. “Where there is no honour for the elderly there is no
future for young people,” he said.
If you
look around, you will hear people complaining about “marriage not happening”,
“endlessly waiting for a child”, “no growth in the family”, “persistent
diseases”, “not getting a job” and various “blocks and bondages in life”. Why
is this happening?
“When I heard about many such cases, I
decided to pray… and got the answer. Whoever has hurt his/her father or mother,
whoever has brought tears to the eyes of his/ her parents, such blocks, hurdles
and bondages enter their lives. If you pray you will also get to know about that
truth,” Rev Fr Sharlo Ezhanikattu
CST said in a recent television talk programme.
He says God’s blessings flow through three
channels: priests, parents and teachers. If you hurt your father or mother, the
channel which showers blessings from God gets blocked. “Then God’s grace won’t
remain in that person and he will face various blocks and bondages. When God’s
blessings stop flowing, Satan will start ruling that family. Satan doesn’t want
anything good to happen. Satan creates blocks and bondages. Satan will create
an atmosphere which prompts a person to reject God,” he said.
It’s like a lion waiting for its prey. It
knows the areas where it can pounce on a prey. Similarly, Satan also pounces on
a person, leading to blocks, bondages, troubles and sorrows. Have you brought
tears into the eyes of your father or mother?
According to Catechism of the Catholic Church,
Lord Jesus himself recalled the force of this
"commandment of God. Ephesians 6:2 says: "Children, obey your parents
in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother,' (This is the
first commandment with a promise.) 'that it may be well with you and that you
may live long on the earth."' Tobit 4:3-4 says, “honor your mother and do not abandon her all the days of her
life. Do whatever pleases her, and do not grieve her in anything. Remember her, my son, because she faced many
dangers for you while you were in her womb.”
“If you want blessings and grace from God and
a good life, you have to love and respect your parents. If this love and
respect towards your parents are missing, then all blocks, bondages, troubles,
sickness and sorrows will come into your lives,” he said.
It’s common to see sons -- who mostly work in
other countries -- dump their parents in a old age home. In many families, sons
want to live separately, away from their parents. “If you go out and live in a
rented house and away from your parents, there won’t be peace in your family.
If you reject your parents, that’s like rejecting God. If you have brought tears to the eyes of your parents, that’s equivalent to making God tearful. If you
have thrown your parents out of your house, that means you have thrown God out
of your house,” Rev Fr Sharlo said.
“After hurting your parents, there’s no point
in attending charismatic retreats, prayers and Holy Mass. God won’t listen to
your prayers. Are you going to church after taking care of your parents?” he
asked.
In short, the bottom line is: your family
will face disaster if you have hurt your parents. Pope Francis made it clear
when he said it was a deadly sin to “discard” the elderly and that those who do
so will suffer the same fate themselves. “It is
sickening to see the elderly discarded. It is ugly. It is a sin,” he said. “Abandoning
the elderly is a mortal sin. Children who do not visit their elderly and ill
parents have mortally sinned. Understand?” Pope used a tough language to send
this message across to people.
If you take care of your parents, love and
support them, you will stay blessed and God’s grace will envelop you. If you
want to be successful in life, you need the blessings of your parents. “When
you start a venture or when your kids go for an exam or you start a new job, go
and get your parents blessings. Your life will remain blessed,” Rev Fr Sharlo
said.
There’s an advice to the parents as well:
never curse your kids. Bless them. They might change for good. “Parents, don’t
forget God and live only for sons and daughters,” Rev Fr Sharlo said.
